This will save your relationship.
Those who love too much don’t last. But love with irony lasts. This kind of love leads to marriage.
We don’t usually marry our first love. We don’t usually marry the person who disvirgined us. We don’t usually marry the man or woman whom we did so many crazy things for just to keep forever by our side. Most married couples will agree to this.
But we loved these people so much that we wished we would spend the rest of our lives with them.
What happens? Life happens.
Bible says “Too much of everything leads to destruction”. As it supports the notion that extremity of everything seals peoples doom.
Look at a bottle, so strong it is. But a quick drop on the floor from a short height it shatters into pieces. So is when love is too strong.
So why doesn’t it usually last? Let’s analyse.
You met someone, fall in love, got intimate. (No problem with this). Now you grow fond of each other, dazzle each other with love. You can’t imagine staying a minute without each other. You’re lost inside each other. Still cool.
But here is problem.
Two of you come too close often, got naked countless times, kissed countless times, touch each other countless times, romanced countless times, had sex countless times, stay together for long time.
Red light! Red light! Red light!
Two of you now know each other too much including all your secrets. You can predict each other. Nothing else is remaining. What else is there?
So what happens? Saturation. Someone is fed up. You begin to think you’re caged and restricted. You begin to see the other person as a burden or paste that is sapping your freedom. You have heard everything, seen everything, touched everything and done everything to each other.
What else do you want from them? Nothing!
Since you’re not married yet, you begin to think you still have right to look for someone else. So you do. Sometimes two of you feel the same way- to try another person. Why? you’re completely tired of each other.
Small small problems will start creeping up -Blames, jealousy, suspicions, arguments, accusations, lies, quarrels, cheatings, insults, shoutings, fights etc. Everyone is looking for slightest reason to push the other away. Why? You’re completely tired of each other. So no need of marrying each other anymore.
And finally, your moment comes, a little misunderstanding, you wave your bye bye flag. Who doesn’t want to taste another soup?
When you’re hungry, you need food, but when you’re over fed, you no longer need food. Eat small small. Each with irony. Haven’t you heard the saying, “He who goes slowly goes far and goes long.”
Those who love too much don’t last. Love with irony lasts. My father told me “Speed and death have the same sound.”
If you’re married, answer me, did you marry your first love? Didn’t you love them so much? Even as you’re married, don’t you sometimes miss your first love? Don’t you feel like to call them on phone, hear their voice and know how they are doing? Of course you do. You loved too much. So you lost them.
What is love with irony? Here is my recommendation.
Love each other; but don’t show it too much. Seduce but don’t satisfy. Arouse but stay completely away from sex. I say “completely away”. Don’t live together. Be close but out of reach. Be not available all the time.
Sometimes switch off your phone. Let them miss you. Let them desire you. Mystify them; that is, be unpredictable. They shouldn’t know where you are all the time. If they know too much you loose your power. If they see you too much they take you for granted.
Use absence to increase your respect and desire. A man who needs sex doesn’t give up. So don’t give it to him so he doesn’t give up on you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Stair up and starve. Don’t ever satisfy.
Sometimes pick small offence and stay away for a while. Let them chase you. Let them beg you. Let them desire you. Let them appreciate you. Let them respect you. If you do this, you keep your power. If you don’t, you lose it. Be in control.
Feel Robert Greene’s 16th Law in his classic book The 48 Laws Of Power. “Use absence to increase respect and honor. Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from , the more common you appear. If you’re already established in a group (relationship), temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.”
Always make them want you more. Remember, stair up and starve. Seduce but don’t satisfy. Love with irony.
If they leave you for someone else because you did not satisfy their sexual or financial urge, then you’re lucky, you discovered the fool in time. Let them go. You didn’t lose anything. The fool is not meant for you. Period! A wise man will take you to the alter if he truly desires the juice. A wise woman will have patience for you if she truly desires the fruit. Love with irony reveals the real person.
In life you need to give everything time in order for it to unfold itself to you, don’t be in a rush or hurry to dabble into it without proper consideration. Our people will say “Nwayo nwayo ka eji alacha ove di oku” translated “You lick a hot soup gently and carefully” because if you rush the soup it will definitely peel off your tongue due to its hotness.